Burlesque, Gulliver's Travels, True Grit, Black Swan, and The King's Speech

So.  After abstaining from movie-going for like 2 weeks, I ended up seeing Burlesque.  Not awful.  Probably could have done better with choosing a movie to interfere with my principles.  I did not like Christina Aguilera's character by the end.  But it was nice to see Cher; she looks good except for her hands, which betray her age -- plastic surgery doesn't go down that far, I guess.

Then I really did stop.  I did.  I waited until right after Christmas, and then I binged.  I just could not help myself.

I saw 4 movies in 1 week.

The King's Speech was brilliant.  So great.  It was like a book that you don't want to end, but when it does, you are totally satisfied.  Everyone was cast perfectly and the story just moved.  Wonderful.  True Grit was of course fantastic -- it is amazing how the Coen brothers churn out the most delectable dialogue.  Gulliver's Travels was cute -- rentable, definitely.  Black Swan was totally not worth the hype.  Mr. Aronofsky, I'm very sorry to say, this was regrettable.  I really wonder why I wanted to see it in the first place.  Oh, right, hype.  I guess if I had to dissect it, I'd wonder if the slow pacing was purposeful and the superfluous violence and sex were part of -- what exactly?  I was just sort of bored.      

BAD NEWS!

As of the end of October, unbeknownst to us Movie Tuesdayers (cause we skipped a couple of weeks because there were only scary, bad movies out), MOVIE TUESDAY DISCOUNTS WERE DISCONTINUED!  According to the manager, it was permanent because the new owners did not like "losing money" because of the promotion.  Devastated, of course -- initially because we had to pay regular price for a 3D movie (Megamind -- very cute, but not really worth the 3D) -- I wrote a letter the next morning:

To Whom It May Concern,
The Rave Movie Theater in Hazlet, NJ is a great theater.  The movie house is clean, the employees are friendly, and the $6 bargain Tuesday promotion was simply the best deal around.  Eight friends and I formed a Movie Tuesday Group and each week for a year and a half we happily met up on Tuesdays after work to see a movie – and it did not matter what kind: good, bad, or otherwise.  Unfortunately, we discovered that as of 10/28/10 the bargain Tuesday promotion had been suspended indefinitely.  This came as a shock when we went to see and pay for a 3D movie and were told to hand over $14.75, which if we had to do so weekly, would be cost prohibitive.  Even the regular movie price of $10.75 has priced us out of weekly movie going (that’s why we were so thrilled to discover bargain Tuesdays).  There was a different air out the movie theater that night – most notably there were far less customers.  And now we will be among the “less,” and our group activity has ended.  I write this letter to appeal to whoever decided that this discontinuation would be positive and permanent.  Please reconsider and reinstate bargain Tuesdays.
As of today, Rave has lost 9 regular customers.


Sincerely,


Lindsay Nelson       

And the (very prompt) reply:

Ms. Nelson,

Rave has not stated that this is permanent. This is being discontinued for now during the holiday period, as has been done in the past by the previous owners as well. [NOT TRUE!] What we will do with this program or something similar to it, is unknown at this time. We are assessed penalties by the studios for so heavily discounting these tickets that it is completely cost prohibitive to continue doing so.

In order for a program such as this to work, it must work on both the customer’s end and our end, and that just isn’t the case right now. This actually costs us money to run, especially during the holidays, hence the current discontinuation.

Regards,

Ron Walker

DEVASTATION, LIES, OH THE HORROR! 


Needless to say, Movie Tuesday stopped.  On principle.  So sad.

Easy A, You Again, The Town, Social Network, and Life As We Know It

Don't even bother to rent You Again.  It was disappointeningly bad.  Otherwise, all were great, especially The Town, Social Network, and Easy A. 

The American and Machete

According to one Movie Tuesdayer, The American was "alright."

Tonight I saw Machete.  VERY campy and, probably, the purpose was to make it just-this-side-of-campy, but it IS camp.  Over the top gore, horrible dialogue, and a very famous woman who shares my name -- her part was totally worthless.  The best way to see this movie is to go with someone who has great running commentary.  Luckily, I had maybe the perfect companion for witty discourse.  Otherwise, I'm never going to watch it again.  Doesn't hold a candle to Once Upon A Time In Mexico.  Not good.     

Summer Movies

(Movie Tuesdayers, let me know if I forgot any...)

*Get Him to the Greek Not bad.  Parts were really funny, others fell sort of flat.  I wish that the story was more congruent with Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which is where Aldous was introduced.

*The A-Team Actually, pretty darn good. Great action, just campy enough, good story, and by gosh they flew a tank!

*Toy Story 3 The third in the series of my favorite movie franchise.  Better than Toy Story 2.  The 3D wasn't all that necessary (other than for the superawesomecrazycreative short in the beginning).  Terribly creepy doll character who would have definitely given me nightmares if overtly and continually compared to the scary movie that it evoked.  Great story and the cast of toys were spot on.  I'll totally buy it.

*Killers Typical rom-com.  Katherine Heigl is always endearing and actually Ashton Kutcher wasn't stupid, which was a pleasant surprise.  And a good twist (one at least that wasn't in the previews).

*Knight and Day Pleasantly surprisingly entertaining.  I don't particularly like Tom Cruise, but he plays crazy so darn well.

*Cyrus  Painfully awkward.  John C. Reilly was very good.

The Last Airbender I wasn't able to make it to this movie, but the other Move Tuesdayers did and didn't stay long at all.  It was THAT BAD.  M. Night Shyamalan does not make good movies.  Let's all just stop leading him on.

*Inception Undoubtedly one of the best movies of the summer.  I don't have anything new or insightful to say about this movie, so just read one of the zillion of reviews that's already out there.

*Despicable Me We saw this directly following Inception, on a double feature catching up with movies night.  It was ok.  I was lead to believe it was about something more interesting.

*Salt Dear Angelina Jolie, you have cornered the market on female action stars.  I adore you when you kick ass.  Good action, entertaining, nice twists.  That's right, I said twists plural. 

*Dinner for Schmucks Very funny.  Awkward.  Funny. 

*Scott Pilgrim vs The World Another cute, clever Michael Cera movie.  He nearly broke his every-movie character, nearly.  That's basically all you need to know.  Also!  Kieran Culkin was pretty awesome.

*The Switch Dare I say one of Jason Bateman's best roles.  One of the better rom-coms.  Jennifer Aniston was age appropriate, which was refreshing.  The kid was the perfect mix of endearing and odd.

*Worth the watch OR just don't waste your time on The Last Airbender.

Movie Updates, April & May

I'm going to take the very easy way out and just half-ass these reviews*: 

Date Night Tina Fey and Steve Carell are a match I've just been waiting for; however, TOTALLY implausible premise and just like most romantic comedies -- fun and silly and not all that great, unfortunately.

How to Train Your Dragon 3D 
Superduperawesomefantasticexcellent!  This was the 3D movie I was waiting for.  Love love loved it.  

Sex and the City 2 Shmeh.  As noted above, like all romantic comedies, silly and sorta fun.  The girls let me down, especially since I Sex and the City marathoned before, in anticipation that the movie would be on the same level as the show.  Too much materialism, too much old people trying to reclaim something that has passed them by (gracefully, in terms of the show), too much and yet not enough of the right stuff.  But, honestly, I can't remember a movie based on a show that I enjoyed as much as I liked the show (Simpsons movie wasn't all that great, either).

  

Prince of Persia I like action movies, I like fighting, I like comedy.  I liked Aladdin, which was the cartoon version of this movie released several years before and loved by all.  I got bored toward the whole middle.

 

Shrek Forever After Shmeh, again.  Shrek 2 is the only one we need.  This was just making a movie to just make a movie.  The 3D was good and the animation was great, but the story was seriously stupid.

Robin Hood I don't get why a new Robin Hood had to be made, but it was not bad.  I liked the new twist on the story; although history was rewritten to accommodate divorce prior to Henry VIII and ya know the Magna Carta.  And everyone was older.  Maid Marion was Lady Marion -- married!  I don't think a sequel would make sense, since if this was the olden days, the characters would die of old age.

The Losers Not good.  The action wasn't actiony enough and the story wasn't, it just wasn't.

Kick Ass Super excellent.  Action, social message, parody, comedy, drama, crazy ass characters.  I don't even want to say more, just SEE IT!

Iron Man 2 Good sequel, and they're always the hardest (ahem, Sex and the City 2).  I was distracted by the actor switch, but otherwise, it was highly enjoyable.  Don't bother to stick around for the extra 15 seconds at the end -- it's Thor.  Spoiler, but whatever.

*not even in order, hopefully I didn't leave any out

The Big Empty

I didn't get it.  The Big Empty was David Lynch-ish, I guess, but forgettable.  Which is a shame, because John Favreau is usually awesome.  Has he ever been in another movie that was released straight to DVD?